We need to rekindle our bromance
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I touched a dick in church today
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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