Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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