Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
