I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she peed on how many people?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
