we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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