I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
