I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just high enough for therapy.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
