i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
