we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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