Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
