yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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