:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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