Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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