I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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