he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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