His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
