I skipped work to stalk him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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