Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
