Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
