i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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