Soap is not a condiment
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
