what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
