i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
