Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
