He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Someone shattered a urinal.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
