Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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