and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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