haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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