forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this boner is exhausting
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
