So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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