just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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