Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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