But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
