I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize