In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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