so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
