I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize