Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
