Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Happy Easter!!!

(248): View more from Michigan

I'm an idiot

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".

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(227): View more from Maryland

He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like

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(775): View more from Nevada

Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost

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(678): View more from Georgia

Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.

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(206): View more from Washington

Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.

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