a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
