the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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