i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
