I could make wine with my vomit
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
