my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma