Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?

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  (860): Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out? http://tfl.nu/i8pt
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (4055)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

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  (440): planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out http://tfl.nu/zgao
  Replies (22) Good night (1613) Bad night (3493)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.

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  (215): winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am. http://tfl.nu/p45r
  Replies (26) Good night (4630) Bad night (2242)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.

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  (774): I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books. http://tfl.nu/zd3b
  Replies (14) Good night (3947) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!

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  (402): Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?! http://tfl.nu/bwn3
  Replies (4) Good night (2880) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.

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  (412): He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with. http://tfl.nu/33qn
  Replies (8) Good night (3116) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.

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  (757): Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete. http://tfl.nu/0fk8
  Replies (4) Good night (2844) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.

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  (563): Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience. http://tfl.nu/j0u8
  Replies (6) Good night (3361) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.

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  (717): Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl. http://tfl.nu/lse9
  Replies (8) Good night (2165) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.

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  (541): She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning. http://tfl.nu/4pom
  Replies (17) Good night (2707) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with

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  (727): Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with http://tfl.nu/m05i
  Replies (11) Good night (631) Bad night (1795)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"

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  (321): Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo" http://tfl.nu/3ea4
  Replies (8) Good night (863) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter

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  (505): Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter http://tfl.nu/c0ww
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?

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  (515): When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education? http://tfl.nu/w56v
  Replies (2) Good night (875) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia

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  (248): I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia http://tfl.nu/wvuh
  Replies (3) Good night (246) Bad night (766)

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