she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won