Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.

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  (248): I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you. http://tfl.nu/rwr0
  Replies (1) Good night (1074) Bad night (523)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking

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  (850): It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking http://tfl.nu/828r
  Replies (27) Good night (1107) Bad night (2687)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

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  (514): i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome? http://tfl.nu/1uvu
  Replies (18) Good night (3583) Bad night (681)
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  (631): View more from New York

  woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.

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  (631): woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again. http://tfl.nu/84mk
  Replies (23) Good night (1133) Bad night (3908)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"

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  (941): I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is" http://tfl.nu/uvfs
  Replies (13) Good night (5150) Bad night (747)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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  (662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God. http://tfl.nu/m55y
  Replies (34) Good night (4025) Bad night (1996)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

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  (203): just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex http://tfl.nu/zx0t
  Replies (12) Good night (4606) Bad night (931)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?

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  (206): How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it? http://tfl.nu/31c7
  Replies (23) Good night (2960) Bad night (1756)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?

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  (715): you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question? http://tfl.nu/kzcn
  Replies (11) Good night (1290) Bad night (750)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Keeping it classy as usual I see

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  (229): It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back. (904): Keeping it classy as usual I see http://tfl.nu/9n6z
  Replies (3) Good night (1486) Bad night (627)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously

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  (617): A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously http://tfl.nu/7jfj
  Replies (4) Good night (2670) Bad night (550)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.

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  (905): And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high. http://tfl.nu/wkek
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (488)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.

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  (303): Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel. http://tfl.nu/tevo
  Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (445)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out

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  (215): i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out http://tfl.nu/4dk0
  Replies (13) Good night (681) Bad night (981)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.

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  (226): I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford. http://tfl.nu/9k7b
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (309)

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