I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me