he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night