If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing