At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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