I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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