This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
