Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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