Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
