If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
