guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
