I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
