So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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