i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
