i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
