Pappa wants mamma naked
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
