k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just want nice things and good sex
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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