You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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