How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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