i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
