It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
