No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
