I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize