Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize