I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
