Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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