so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
