My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They took my balls.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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