# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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