i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
