It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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