Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
