yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
