You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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