Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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